27 Years, God’s Faithfulness, and a Whole Lot of Grace

Marriage and parenting are a lot like learning to ride a bike.

You make the best choices you can in the moment, hoping you find balance along the way. Sometimes you fall. Sometimes you crash hard. And sometimes you just have to get back up and keep trying.

There has been a joke in my family my whole life that I never learned to ride a bike because Daddy always had go-carts and four-wheelers.Truthfully, I did learn. But why ride a bicycle when you could fly through the woods on trails, slide the back tires through gravel, and feel completely free?

A few weeks ago, I was talking with a precious lady who today is only 46 days away from turning 100 years old. I asked her what advice she had. Just one piece of wisdom from someone who has lived almost a century.

She looked at me and said:

“Life is going to be hard, and bad things might happen, but you keep going and keep pushing. Sometimes it’s just one day at a time.” Then she paused. With the sweetest smile, she pointed her little finger upward and simply said: “Jesus. You need Jesus.”

Tears rolled down my cheeks then, just like they are as I type this now.

Twenty-seven years of marriage has looked a lot like that.

Twenty-seven years of falling down.
Twenty-seven years of getting back up.
Twenty-seven years of prayers.

Chuck used to joke that I kept a Rolodex. Every time I got frustrated, I would mentally pull out every mistake and replay them all over again.

Then replay them again.

Thankfully, years ago, I finally threw that Rolodex away.

Life is too short.

Together, we raised three children.

Together, we cared for my grandmother through dementia during the last four years of her life, alongside my mom and sister.

Together, we buried my dad, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and people we loved far too soon.

Together, we watched our daughters attend too many funerals for friends who went to be with Jesus much earlier than expected.

Together, we prayed.

We made friends who became family.

We did the best we could.

And somewhere along the way, God gave us front-row seats to watch our children become some of the best young adults I know.

One of my favorite parts of marriage has always been serving together. Chuck and I met at ACA. He would come by my classroom, and I thought he was coming to see me. Instead, he would stand in the doorway forever playing with those sweet one-year-olds. So much so that my boss hired him to work with me and Mrs. Jane. Although, for the record, I still had to change all the diapers. Watching him love children then told me something important. God had given me someone who would love our children as deeply as I did.

And then God gave our children those same hearts.

And then, somewhere between raising babies, surviving hard seasons, grief, prayers, laughter, and all the ordinary days in between...

God gave us one more beautiful gift. Our granddaughter. Watching our son become a daddy and seeing our children love her so well has been one of the sweetest full-circle moments of these 27 years.

Being Mam and Pap to her is a gift I do not think either of us fully knew our hearts needed. She has brought laughter, joy, new traditions, and little reminders every day that God is still writing beautiful stories. And what a gift it has been to watch generations sitting around tables, loving each other well.

Somewhere along the way, it all came full circle.

We are thankful.

And from where I sit today, even with all the ups and downs, these 27 years have been worth every second.

Like Mrs. Herring said:

“Life is going to be hard, and bad things might happen,

but you keep going and keep pushing.

Sometimes it’s one day at a time.”

And most importantly:

“Jesus. You need Jesus.”

Happy Anniversary, Chuck.

Thank you for holding my hand, tucking me in at night, letting me fall asleep on your chest, and building this beautiful life with me.

Here’s to 27 more years.

My advice?

• You need a relationship with Jesus.
• Read the Bible and pray.
• Fall down, but get back up together.
• Serve others together.
• Serve others with your children.
• Pray some more.

And if Chuck were writing this himself?

He would probably tell you to throw the Rolodex away.

“Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His faithful love endures forever.”

Psalm 136:1