The Post-It Note

Dates stick out to me.

Birthdays are important. Celebrations are important. The days we were born, the days we met, the days we made memories together. All of those dates matter.

But the dates I seem to feel the most are often the ones when I had to say goodbye to someone.

Not because that final goodbye is more important than their birthday, or the time we spent together, or any of the moments in between. Maybe it’s because goodbye feels so final.

I don’t really know.

But today marks a day when I said goodbye to a very special young lady.

And those tears from yesterday are connected to the tears from last week, and the ones I had before that. There will probably be tears next week, next month, and maybe even next year.

There is a lot of emotion behind those tears.

I have so much I could say about the time I was given with Angel, her mom, her sister, and Kristi. There are so many moments I could reflect on. So many memories I will never forget.

And I will spend time doing that.

Because God was so good and so faithful in those moments.

But today, I’m not sure I can put all of that into words.

This particular day, the day we said goodbye, was extremely hard in so many ways.

We wanted Angel to be free from pain. We wanted her to be at peace.

But we didn’t want to say goodbye.

There was so much love in that room. More love than I could ever adequately explain.

And there was God.

He didn’t fail to show up.

He didn’t choose to leave us alone in our grief. He didn’t stay silent and make us figure it all out on our own.

I remember it was around lunchtime, and some friends from our church who were in our Life Group called. They wanted to bring us some lunch.

So, in the middle of everything, we were sitting around talking about what we wanted to eat.

And then, about that time, we were sitting around Angel, and she took her final breath.

I remember immediately thinking, This can’t be happening.

You know that it can happen. You know what you’re facing. But somehow, you are never prepared for the moment when it actually happens.

I remember the heartbreak.

I remember sharing the news with Angel’s friends who were just outside the door.

I remember all of it.

And then our friends from church arrived.

They showed up.

The food was there.

And in the middle of all of that, I was frantically looking for silverware. Napkins. Something, anything that made this feel like a normal lunch.

I opened a drawer.

And there was a Post-it note.

It simply said:

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and loving toward all He has made. Our prayers are with you all.”

That little Post-it note was probably attached to a dessert for someone else.

At some point, when someone cleaned up that area, it must have been pushed to the back of that drawer.

But I don’t believe it was a mistake.

I believe God knew I would need that reminder.

And I remember crying again when I read it.

Because I believe that when Angel took her last breath here, she saw the face of her Heavenly Father.

She was free.

Free from sickness.

Free from pain.

And because of Jesus, I believe she received a new body and is with Him.

So ten years later, I still cling to that little Post-it note.

It stays in my wallet.

I carry it with me everywhere.

Not because a piece of paper has any power, but because of what it reminds me of.

The same God who was there that day is the same God who is with us today.

The same God who was there in the heartbreak was there in the happy moments.

He was there when we laughed.

He was there when we cried.

He was there when we prayed.

He was there when we had to say goodbye.

And He is still there.

He is with Angel’s mom.

He is with every person who loved her.

And He is with me today.

Ten years have passed, but that hasn’t changed.

Yes, we still feel the pain.

We still feel the heartache.

We still miss her.

There are still tears.

But none of that changes who God is.

So as I wipe my tears and walk into this school today, my heart is a little heavy.

But it is also full of gratitude.

Gratitude for Angel.

Gratitude for the moments God gave us.

Gratitude for the love we shared.

And gratitude for a God who showed up when we needed Him most.

I still carry that little Post-it note in my wallet because I need the reminder.

I need to remember that He is who He says He is.

And He will do what He says He will do.

“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted…”

Ten years later, I still believe it.

He was with us then.

He is with us now.

And He will be with us still.

God doesn’t stop being faithful just because our hearts still hurt.